


a week in the life of steve the pigeon

by possumdnp



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, POV Outsider, Pigeons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:48:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25736815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/possumdnp/pseuds/possumdnp
Summary: An outsider-POV from Steve the pigeon’s perspective (based loosely on Phil’s new video, “Trying to Catch and Rescue a Wild Pigeon”)
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 34
Kudos: 129





	a week in the life of steve the pigeon

**Author's Note:**

> I have never written a story from a pigeon’s POV before, but it was delightful and interesting. This is purely a creative experiment that I had a strong urge to write, but I hope you enjoy it. :D

Steve the pigeon doesn’t know a lot. He just knows what a pigeon needs to know to get by in this world. He knows how to fly and how to avoid cats. He knows he likes sunny days and hates it when it rains and gets his feathers all wet.

But if there’s three things he does know for certain, it’s these:

One, Scraggy is the most beautiful pigeon he’s ever laid eyes on. He only met her a few days ago, when they were both pecking at the same bowl of seed. Her feathers are a beautiful grey and ruffled _just so._ Steve can’t take his eyes off of her whenever they’re together. He hopes that maybe she’ll like him back one day, and that they can be mates.

Two, his foot is really starting to hurt. He’s dealt with it for a while, thinking that maybe the pain would go away. But now he has to stand on one foot most of the time. Pecking at the string doesn’t seem to be working, so he does as a proper pigeon does and just lives with it. There’s nothing to be done about it, after all.

Three, the Tall Humans give the best birdseed in the whole city.

All humans are tall. When you’re a little pigeon like him, the whole world is huge, just ready to be perched upon and nested in.

But these humans are _especially_ tall, towering over him. He’s not scared though. He knows they won’t hurt him.

There’s two of them. One of them, the one with darker hair, likes to stand out on the balcony. He gives water to the plants and talks to Steve. Steve coos back at him, and he thinks that somehow, in some way, they understand each other.

The other human looks like he has a bird’s nest on top of his head. Steve thinks it would be nice and soft to nest in, if only he were brave enough to perch on top of a human.

The curly-haired human likes to sit outside a lot, sometimes with the dark-haired human, sometimes without. His hands are always busy at work, and he’s always focused on the screen in front of him. Sometimes, he’ll look away from his screen and notice Steve. His voice is always soft and gentle when he talks to Steve, and it makes Steve trust the human.

Steve doesn’t know much about human behaviour, really, and he has more to worry about. Being a pigeon is hard work sometimes.

But he reckons that these two are mates, just like he hopes he and Scraggy can be one day. They’re always near each other, talking to each other, with an ease like they’ve known each other forever. They live in the same nest, the one attached to the balcony where Steve comes for seed every day. Steve knows they live here because he has entered the nest on a quest for more delicious seed. The Tall Humans didn’t seem to like that for some reason and shooed him away. Rude.

But what really matters is that they both feed him and talk to him. Steve likes them, as much as any bird can like a human. They’re kind and don’t stomp after him to chase him away like the humans on the streets do.

He’s kept the Tall Humans’ balcony a bit of a secret from the other pigeons. They’ve found it of course, but they don’t come here every day like Steve does. He’s glad for that. The other pigeons are mean to him sometimes. He can’t walk as fast as they can with his injured foot, and they take advantage of that, puffing up their chests and trying to impress Scraggy away from him.

(Sometimes he’s worried that it’ll work, that she won’t want a pigeon like him for a mate, the small, unimpressive bird that he is. But she always comes back around to him for some reason. Maybe one day, they’ll be _actual_ mates instead of just birds who hang out on the same balcony. The thought makes his little pigeon heart beat faster.)

“Seed,” Scraggy coos at him, as he lands on the balcony one day. “New seed.” She walks closer to the Tall Humans’ nest, and he sees what she means. There’s a strange box sitting there, and there’s seed inside.

Steve doesn’t know what to make of it, so he stares at it for a while. He doesn’t really know why the humans have put new seed in such a strange location. But just like humans are prone to doing odd things, pigeons are prone to not overthinking things. Steve cocks his head and pecks at a stray seed outside of the box before flying back to the main bowl of seed, where Scraggy is already perched.

Much better.

The days go on, and Steve continues to investigate the box. He doesn’t know why, but the seed seems more delicious in the box. It’s the same seed, and the box is kind of scary, but he’s safe from the other bigger, meaner pigeons in there.

Then he gets shut into the box. That’s _definitely_ scarier.

Inside the box, the only thing he can do is stare out at the world. He can feel himself moving, just like he’s flying, except he’s not flapping his wings. It’s the strangest sensation. He can hear the Tall Humans’ voices somewhere above him, and it’s all far too confusing for his pigeon brain to process. He wishes he was back with Scraggy on the balcony right now.

For some reason, he’s not properly scared until he realizes he can’t hear the Tall Humans’ voices anymore. There’s a higher voice instead, and then a human he doesn’t recognize looking at him.

He doesn’t really know what happens in the next few hours. He doesn’t understand all of the confusing lights and sensations and humans he doesn’t know.

The next thing he _does_ understand is that there’s now delicious bread in the box with him, and the pain in his foot is gone. He stares down at his feet and sees that the uncomfortable string is gone. He’s more interested in the tasty bread than his own feet though (he sees his feet every day, after all), so he pecks at the bread as the strange flying sensation returns and the Tall Humans’ voices return.

And then suddenly, the box’s door is open, and he can fly out.

He’s momentarily confused by the bright light, but his eyes adjust, and there’s the seed bowl, and there’s Scraggy, perched nearby, watching him. He’s home.

Forgetting the bread in the scary box, he flies to the seed bowl and starts pecking eagerly. When he looks up, there’s the Tall Humans, looking back at him. The curly-haired one’s got his arm around the dark-haired one’s shoulders, and they’re talking in the soft voices that remind Steve of Food and Safety and Home.

And really, what more could a pigeon need?

**Author's Note:**

> [Reblog here! <3](https://possumdnp.tumblr.com/post/625650058538418176/a-week-in-the-life-of-steve-the-pigeon-12k-g)


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